Ugh! Reality check!

I've gotta tell ya...I love Facebook. I have been able to reconnect with old friends I haven't talked to in a long time! It is great! Catching up is great! Thank you modern-day inventions for things such as Facebook!

However, on the flip-side...it has been one big smack in the face after another. Reason being, check out my picture to the left. Yep! That's me! Nothing but a big old cow! I look at all of my old friends and everyone is doing so well! It is like everyone but me has discovered the fountain of youth! I swear....everyone looks awesome...better than I remember! And then, well...I look at myself! What have I done in the past 10 years since college besides get fat? I have had 2 kids, so I try to cut myself a little slack...but you know what, so have all of my old friends! They aren't fat!

Reality check strikes! This cycle of mine has to stop! The whole purpose of my {Re}inventing Myself project is to stop this cycle- get moving... feel better about myself... lose all of this self-hatred that has disabled me for way too long.

So, I have been obsessed with runners lately. I watch them run down the street as I drive. I admire their focus and drive. They run run in smoldering-hot weather, rain, snow....they don't care! Runners... I swear, are a freak of nature! How in the world can you go out and run 26 some miles and live to tell about it? Runners amaze me! My dad is a runner. He amazes me! He did his first Ironman competition in his 50's! Madman, I tell ya! He has been running marathon and doing triathalons for decades now, and has added 2 Ironman competitions to his resume. Insane, I don't know how he does it!

Anyway, I am going to start the 'Couch-to-5K Running Plan'. My goal is to be able to run a 5K in a few months! I plan on starting tonight with my first walk/jog intervals instructed by the Couch-to-5K plan.

I'll keep ya posted on how it is going!
Any running tips, feel free to comment!
Just want to offer this cow some much needed motivation, by all means, please do!

Addictions, sch-micktions!

So...for those of you that know me well, know that Dear ole' Dr. Pepper is not my only addiction. For those of you who do not know me at all, or only know me a little bit should know I also have a great affinity with paper. Yes..paper! And no, not in a Pica sort of way! I DO NOT consume paper! (Pica is an eating disorder in which a person habitually eats non-nutritive substances, such as paper, for example, at an age that is developmentally inappropriate. )


We, humans, like to collect things.
I guess you could say I am an avid collector of paper! Artsy-fartsy paper of all kinds. I have oodles and oodles, and even more oodles of paper!

I suppose at this point you are wondering what on this beautiful earth do I do with all of these oodles and oodles of paper.....ahhh, good question, my friend! I swear, my paper story does have a point, and I will get to it in time!

So, the paper...for some reason, ever since college, or maybe even highschool, I have loved making greeting cards and invitations. I make LOTS of cards! So right next to my oodles and oodles of paper I have piles and piles of cards!

Now this is the part of the story where I am going to try and justify my addiction to my beloved paper. My addiction to paper would be alright if... say, maybe, I did something with all of these cards made out of beautiful paper... but instead they sit, all lonely, collecting dust!

So, as part of my '{re}inventing myself' project, I want to grow some serious ka-hoo-nahs. I want to gain some much needed self-confidence and try to sell this stuff. So, you know those home jewelry parties or 'toy' parties...come on ladies, we've all been to them, just to help a sista out, you don't really want to go but you do anyway! Awhile back, it was suggested I have a 'Kenzie' party. You have to understand...I just make tons of stuff for fun, but it all just sits around. I have been giving it some thought, along with thinking about how I am going to pay for school Spring semester, so I might just step out of my cozy comfort zone and give it a whirl...just see how it goes.

Now, tell me...what do you think?
Too audacious?
Any suggestions?

Farewell dear friend....

Dear Dr. Pepper,

You have been a dear friend to me for over a decade now. I met you in all your glory in Lawrence, Kansas at a local gas station. You stood there tall and proud, just waiting for me to consume you completely! .59 cents and one 32 oz. Big Gulp later...I HAD FOUND LOVE! And I haven't stopped loving you since!

My unconditional love for you has run deep and true, however...as the old saying goes, "All good things must come to an end"! You see, dear friend, after enjoying mass amounts of you over the years, I have gained many unwanted pounds that MUST be shed. They say you are full of excessive empty calories. I disagree by the way, just so you know...I find every single one of your calories to be delicious in every way, and up to this point, well worth the caloric intake.

However, sadly, Dr. Pepper, sweet lover of mine... I must digress! This is extremely hard for me to do.... but I must leave you today. As I finish sipping your sweet nectar, I am saddened by the thought that this may be our last encounter, if not definitely, then at least for awhile. I am sure in a moment of weakness I will resort to you, as I have always done-as part of my daily ritual, as a source of comfort, like a favorite teddy bear is to a child... but for now I must try to live without you!

Please let me down easy. Let me walk away without a fight! Please know, dear friend, I do not want to give you up. But, for the sake of my health and well-being, I have to let you go. It has become a love- hate relationship between you and I. I drink you because I love you, but I hate you at the same time knowing that I am being a better friend to you, than you are to me. You have had a negative effect on my physical being. My belly is round and I am asked if I am pregnant even though I am not, which makes me feel awful... and I would not be caught dead in shorts! Are you kidding me, my thighs look...disgusting, to put it nicely! Chubby thighs are only cute on babies! And this extra chin...please, I don't need it! Trust me!

So, this is the point I turn and walk away, and try not to look back. I know I will be tempted every time I see you, but I must be strong. I AM ON A MISSION, REMEMBER! I want to love the skin I am in, and ridding myself of you is only one of the humble steps I must take in trying to regain an attractive girlish figure I can be proud of. Because, as of right now, I am embarrassed beyond words that I have let myself go! I want to be able to show my face and not be ashamed of myself!

Always remember, you are loved and will be missed!
I bid thee farewell! So long, my lover!

Kenzie

Why am I here....

Hello!

Hellllllllooooooo! (echo)
Is anybody here?!?!?!?
So, let me start by introducing myself...
Hi! My name is Kenzie.
I am one of those 30's somethings....
a 30's something that feels older than her age...
by that, I mean.. physically!
Somedays, I feel 80!
My bones ache,
my muscles feel weak,
...and I am 30 lbs overweight!!!!!
I am sick and tired of the skin I am in.
Which brings us to why we are here!
Why I am here...
who knows if anyone will read this,
so I will just pretend I have a full audience!
So humor me if you will!

The reason for the title '{Re}inventing Myself'?
Well as you could probably guess...

I am going to do exactly what the title states....
REINVENT MYSELF!
Sounds pretty drastic, I know.
I mean there has to be something about myself that I would like to keep...
Well, yes..I will keep my family, friends & what-not.
It is ME I want to change!
I feel like I have been stagnant for so long...
just going through the motions,
just taking up space... lots of it!
I don't want to just occupy space anymore...
I want to get off my rump and do something!about it!
NOW! TODAY!
I want to be someone my children will look up...
someone my parents are proud to have raised...
someone my husband would brag about...
someone I don't mind being!

SO...the wheels are in motion!
Slowly but surely!
I am going back to school to clear out the cobwebs.
I have dusted off my running shoes.
And I am giving the gym a try...
for the first time in 10 years!
YIKES!

This is the place I will be held accountable!
I am on a mission!