Someone was listening!

For any of you who mustered up the patience to read my last post...I am sorry- truly, deeply sorry! It was whiny, depressing, and flat out annoying! No one wants to read about my pity party!
I had just been having a few of those really bad days when nothing seemed to go right.

So,without further ado, on with some better news, unfortunately new that maybe I only find interesting! i am going to tell you anyway!

It's about school.
I was enrolled in an 8am microbiology course. Call me lazy if you want (I can take it), but I was having an extremely hard time getting the kids ready and out the door to preschool, then getting myself to class by 8am, 7:50 if I was a really good student!. So I began begging and pleading...no, I ain't too proud to beg...with all the other microbiology teachers to let me switch into another class. I even talked to a chemistry teacher to switch into a chem class, anything...just not so early in the morning! Well...it was no's all around, even though there were still openings in some of these classes. This is about when I wrote my last post, obviously feeling pretty like the lady of misfortune, down on my luck! Boo hoo!
Well...I was online, just seconds away from dropping Microbiology all together and just figured I would wait until the summer to take it..which, by the way, would not have been smart for two reasons...one, time is not really on my side seeing as thought I am not getting any younger, therefore I have to make the most of the time I do have to devote to class... and two, microbiology is hard enough as it is when taken in the length of a normal semester. During summer classes the material is the same just condensed into a short length of time.

So...somewhere along the way, the universe must have caught wind of my moaning and groaning and put cosmic forces to work. With the stroke of luck, one of the teachers I had been pestering sent me an email asking how 'does Monday & Wednesday night sound?' Uh...without hesitation, any hesitation at all...I responded "absolutely", got in my car and went to class! Just like that! Just like that, I went from Downer Dotty to the happiest girl on the planet! Persistence pays!
And just to add icing to the cake and make this deal even sweeter...this awesome girl in the class offered me her notes, which happened to be all typed out!!!

I won the school lottery!

It's been awhile!

To my few, but dearly treasured, readers...
greetings and happy new year!

So...a good bit of time has passed since I last wrote. One might think I should have a ton of new things to talk about, but the truth is I don't!
I know, I know...how extremely boring!

But the reality is I have been chillin' under a rock for the last month or so doing a lot of brainstorming (yes, there is indeed a brain somewhere lodged up in this noggin of mine for those of you who may question the thought of me brainstorming)! Keeping with this theme of mine to "Re-invent myself"- better myself, become someone of substance that my kids might look up to someday, someone my husband might actually look up to too, someone that is worthy...well, has become a bit daunting and overwhelming. The more I attempt to pave the way to this "better person", the more confused and frustrated I get. There is just so, so much I want to change. My biggest problem is I want it all to happen...yesterday!

After many insomnia-ridden nights, and almost frying my brain 'til there was no more, I thought of a quote that I am particularly fond of:
"You cannot push a river, you just have to let it flow" (author unknown).
Well, I have a new goal...learning how to be CONTENT.
I say "learn" because I think this is half my battle!
I am never satisfied with who I am. But, ya know I am just downright sick and tired of not liking myself. It takes a lot of energy to dislike yourself as much as I do. It would be much easier to just find the positives! I mean...I can't be that bad! I have two great kids, who are in part, a piece of me! I love them...why not love myself, right? However, this learning the art of being content thing is going to be a monster challenge. Learning to accept some of the things I wish I was not... Not walking down the street wishing I could look more like her, dress more like that, or be funny like so and so,...well, this is damn near impossible, but I am going to give it a shot! I have to. If I want to be the person my kids will look up to, this self-loathing crap isn't going to get me there what-so-ever! And that's a fact!
I am who I am!
I've got what I've got!
Now I have to learn to live with that!
I have to learn that the feeling of buying that great pair of shoes (that I don't need) is short lived.
And...yes, of course... losing weight will make me feel more confident... but what's a fit body matter when you have a brain full of mush?
Differentiating want vs. need...I have almost everything I could possibly need, so why then, do I still want?
With the capabilities of modern medicine couldn't I just have a lobotomy or something where they just turn my 'content' button in my brain on and be done with it? Oh, no...that's right...of course not, that would be way too easy! As if we humans don't have enough to work on!!!

So, I am off... being content.
Like they say, 'What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger'!
Thanks for devoting your time to read my ho-hum, b#@&*-and-moan, absolutely annoying pity party!
More positive posts to come...this is my promise to you! Just had a few things I had to get off my chest so I could begin!

Hello again! It's me!

Hello, my loyal readers! I hope this find you doing well!

It is 3:59 in the morning...(if I am not mistaken, don't people normally sleep at this time?) yeah...anywho, apparently not me! Nothing like an early morning blog update, eh!

So...things around here have been a little crazy, not too bad. You know the normal hustle and bustle of the holiday season kind of stuff. Still not done shopping...I guess I enjoy the pressure of last minute shopping! Ugh! No, not so much! Almost done!

And there were finals in school...finished with a 95% in my Anatomy & Physiology class. I was happy, felt like I could have done better, but...in the end, an A is an A! I guess it's not too shabby considering the only real quality study time I have is on Sundays!

Oh...and our dryer kicked it about a month ago so I have been spending my free days at the laundry mat. It is sort of fun and relaxing in a strange sort of way, not to mention the sense of accomplishment felt upon folding that last pair of fuzzy footed pajamas, or pairing up all of the mismatched socks! I chat it up with the little laundry ladies while my laundry whirls and twirls around. Yesterday...14, yes 14, loads of laundry! Record breaking number in my book. Never before have I accomplished such a feat! 14 loads of laundry! Now that's a lot of backed up laundry! Sure makes you appreciate those modern household appliances! However, someday when I do have a functioning dryer, I think I may just continue this newly found ritual, with the goal being...Never get behind on laundry again, EVER. I think the Laundry Gods where listening to me when I asked how does one keep on on the laundry, without spending all day, everyday doing it!?!?!? Well, they broke my dryer and sent me to the laundry mat...that's how! Enough about dirty, well now clean, laundry! Am I a house wife or what? Got nothin' better to talk about at four in the morning than laundry!

The kids... oh, the stir-crazy kids...and cold weather has only just begun! Above are a couple pics to show you what we've been up to as of late. More to come, I promise..and in a timely manner, OK!

I am going to count sheep and catch some zzz's now!
Have a wonderful day!

Aren't these amazing!

Photography by Dirk Rees
www.dirkrees.com

The race is on!

I did it! I really did it!
I signed up for my first 5K, which will be held May 2, 2009 in Indianapolis!!! My dad and step-mom will be running the half marathon the same day. So, yeah....while the half marathon may be a bit ambitious for me, the 5K I thought was an attainable goal! Training for this will be challenging enough considering the fact I am not a runner....not yet anyway!

So let the race begin! Anyone interested in joining me can check out the website here:
http://www.500festival.com/marathon/500Festival5K.asp

The things some people do crack me up!

My friend Amanda directed me to this hilarious story. For a good chuckle, you should check it out too:
http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html